You are allowed to feel. All feelings are valid.

Do you let yourself really FEEL?

I have observed time and time again that we are dictated to a lot by society, we have been programmed,  told what we should feel, what's acceptable to feel,  what is okay to feel alone,  what is acceptable to feel and show in public. 

All of this, takes us away from OUR emotions, which are ALL valid and which should ALL be felt.

I can remember when I was going through cancer, people telling me what a warrior I was, how strong I was, it became like a socially acceptable badge of honour. Society teaches us that it's good to keep carrying on, come on, be strong, pick yourself up, keep going, fight. I feel like saying this to others too and sometimes it really helped, sometimes it was what I needed. But… our needs, emotions and thoughts change everyday. 

I don't think anyone ever said to me, cry, stop, you are allowed to go to pieces. I say this with no judgement, as I have had the same programs, and am starting to delve beneath them. We are programmed that crying is showing weakness, and that it is good to fight.

Did you know that crying is a way of bringing your body back into balance? It’s a physiological reaction to our emotions.

Somedays, I really wanted somebody to say to me, Karen, what you are going through is so hard, I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling, but I'm here,  cry, fall to pieces. I've got you. That's what I wanted.

All feelings are valid. We are allowed to feel anger. We are allowed to feel rage. We are allowed to feel irritation. We are allowed to be upset. It's all a sign of what's going off in our minds, in our lives, in our bodies. Its a sign of what is going well, what needs to be let go of, change, what isn’t working well. 

One of my favourite things to teach in the world is YIN yoga because we give ourselves the space for all the emotions that we have stuffed down,  because we're having a stiff upper lip, just getting on with it. We can try and stuff them down all we like, but the emotions are still there and they still have an effect on the body. In my experience, they linger, fester, get stronger and cause ore damage than the initial intensity of feelings. 

I repeat, we are designed to feel, all emotions are valid. They are a reaction to an event, a thought. We should let ourselves feel. 

Emotions rise, they peak, it can feel really intense, BUT, they will always subside. 

When we sit in YIN yoga, we breathe and we stimulate the Meridian system to move stagnant energy, to let emotions flow freely. Sometimes, we could be in a YIN shape and feel angry or just cry. This doesn’t happen all the time, but it can when energy needs to shift.  When it does, we acknowledge it, oh, there's anger, we breathe slowly, we know that it will pass. It helps us deal with emotions, life, and build resilience, off the mat too. 

Emotions, come and emotions go,  feelings, thoughts, they come and they go. 

To repeat again, as we have a lot of programming to deconstruct! You are allowed to cry,  to feel angry, to FEEL.  I really want you to take that away. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO FEEL. 

When I know that someone's suffering, and the could be you, ask “what you need?” Somedays it might be to feel strong, that might be the best thing someone can say to you, or do you just want me to be here with you? Do you want me to hold the space? Do you want me to remind you that it's hard and I know it's hard and you don't have to just get on with it. 

It's always useful to have a reflect in your life. Are you letting yourself feel, or are you self-medicating with shopping chocolate, eating, drinking, busy-ness?  Start trying to let yourself feel.

One more time repeat after me… all my feelings are valid…i am allowed to feel…i am allowed to feel all of it…when I feel, I am alive.

Sending lots of love K xxx