Why I had to heal the shame that started with my ancestors & collective woundsNov 30, 2022
Wow, what a week. My energy and emotions have travelled through quite a journey that sprang up out of what seemed to be nowhere, but really was part of my karmic path, as I believe that I am always exactly where I need to be.
I began yet another journey to heal deep feelings of shame that were woven through my cells vibrating at such a low level, that I was unaware of. This unknown and unseen shame was effecting the way that I was moving through the world. It was holding me back, stopping me from standing fully in my power and not being able to receive.
It was no coincidence that a few days prior, I started a healing essential oil protocol aimed to reveal the shadows that are ready to be seen and acknowledged at this time. This synchronised with a trip to Ireland, where I did a lot of reiki attunements, which are so healing in themselves. I feel deeply called to Ireland, I have family there and am just drawn to the magic, Celtic roots and land. Since stepping foot on the soil and doing a beautiful solo ceremony to connect back into the land, combined with the oils and reiki, I have never been the same.
Since I left Ireland, I have had a week of being triggered, of feeling that I can’t look anyone in the eye, of feeling like I am wrong to even exist, of wanting to hide away and hang my head in shame, even though I don’t know what for. I felt like all the cells in my body were being ripped apart and reconstructed. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I wasn’t solid. I was aware of the space between my cells, it is strange and disorientating, but I know this feeling well, it is a healing, it is a moving from my past and present state of being into my future way of being.
At an energetic level, I wasn’t the version of myself that I was at the start of the week.
I was changing at a deep energetic level. It was a time to cleanse some karma and really feel into so much that had been suppressed, in my own lifetime, past lives, my ancestors and the energy of Ireland, which has known so much pain and division.
I thought I had done enough work to move any feelings of shame in my body, I have done a lot and have moved a lot, to get to where I am, but not to the depth that I was called to go to now. I needed the experience of those past healings in order to go to this level of transformation.
I always ask the universe, the divine, source, angels, guides, whatever you call your helpers to help me heal anything that is right for myself and the highest good of all in this present time. I asked and BOOM, I was given it. Heal some of the shame from the Irish soil, of both sides, the oppressed and the oppressors, heal the ancestral lineage of any shame that they felt and some collective shame too, and clean up the family line for my past, present and future family.
When I talk of shame, I have the image of Cersei Lannister's walk of shame in Game Of Thrones. Our shame, my shame, wasn’t mine, it was forced upon us all by people in power, by religions, organisations, systems, our peers and communities for being ourselves, for being a bit different. The line 1 part of my human design (loves to learn and go deep) wanted to dig into the walk of shame, I found a great article that wrote about the history of the walk of shame.
"Martin's usage was based off the punishment of King Edward IV's mistress Jane Shore in the fifteenth century," Hibberd wrote. "After Edward's death in 1483, the king's brother took the throne and charged Shore with conspiracy, accusing her of 'sorcery' and 'witchcraft.' Shore was forced to endure a penance walk through London wearing only a thin white undergarment while the crowd 'shamed' her."
I know why I needed to heal the feelings of shame now, so that I can step into the fullest expression of who I am at the moment, to help souls heal, to use all of the shamanic, reiki, psychic tools, and abilities, plant medicine, yoga (along with many tools) that I have unapologetically. With no shame for being different. With no reason logical, or illogical, known or unknown to hide behind. To help my clients and students step into their own power. At this stage in my life and healing, with the development of my energetic and nervous system, the understanding of ancestral healing, the shamanic landscape and quantum physics, I have the ability to hold this level and depth of healing, so I was gifted it.
I needed to go through this for the collective and for myself, to strip back another level to reveal more integrity and purity. To be able to stand in my power without duality. When we are open to be triggered (unhealed wounds) we get sucked into the them and us, this and that, duality and polarity, we lose the ability to come from a neutral compassionate space of strength. Our emotions get in the way, we get sucked into gossip and literally don’t stand fully in our personal power.
I knew from going through several intense healing crisis in the past, that this feeling of being so low, wasn’t all me. Absolutely, I have not been an angel in this lifetime, but a lot of the shame, was ancestral, being a woman, being different, understanding how energy works and wanting to teach this, feeling different to most people around me. When really all my friends who aren’t so deep in the spiritual world love and accept me for who I am, I am so blessed with this. These false low vibes hid my truth.
Now, I feel I am freer (there might well be another layer to cleanse) to stand in my power, to state what I do, to offer it out to the world, as I feel I am needed in my fullest expression as the guide, teacher and healer that I am.
I won’t allow shame to hold me back and dilute the 19 years of study of the healing arts and embodied experience with clients in the 3D and the 5D. I will no longer dull down my connection to source or ability to channel. I will no longer slip into people pleasing, to not using my voice or worrying about compliance with the norm.
I am dedicated to teaching about the spiritual world that the ancient cultures have always spoken about which is the magic of the quantum field.
I am here.
I am standing strong.
Different to who I was last week.
A little dazed and confused, ready to integrate it all, ready to discover and experiment with how to express all of this in my business and life, excited, fired up and ready to stand in my power and so so ready to walk alongside the souls that are ready to journey with me.
I would love to know if some of this resonates with you.
Sending Love Karen
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PPS: I have been running a beautiful membership space for over a year, dedicated to your healing, to being a space to rest, to remember, own and stand in your power. To remove the ties that bind you, like ancestral fear, people pleasing, perfectionism and not using your voice. It is a beautiful combination of shamanic journeys, meditation, lunar work, community, monthly healing practises and lessons, working with the Celtic wheel of the year, human design, essential oil aroma-point and more. All combined into easy short lessons, with a vault of practises to go deeper.
Because this work is so important after having my own recent experience, I am gifting the membership at the founders price to celebrate. (This is £10 off the current price each month and you are able to cancel at any time.)
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