comparrison emotional wellness mindset wise women witches Apr 09, 2021

Comparison... I don’t think that there will be anyone who hasn’t compared themselves with others, or an ideal that is prevalent in society. 

A lot of it comes from domestication in society. You are told and taught, what to think, encouraged to be well-behaved subjects, to be ‘normal’. You are taught what society’s ideals are, what you should do, the best career path, that makes lots of money. When making lots of money might to be your personal measure of success. You might think differently. 

I have just finished an amazing book that taught me that witches (wise women who helped with healing and specialised in delivering babies - were targeted after men started to go to medical school, they were seen as a threat. ) The cogs in my mind got ticking and I got clarity. 

We have been silenced for years. That is just one example of domestication society imposes on others, because people in power were threatened by someone standing in their own personal power. 

It happened all over the world, and still does. 

This domestication, the ideals set by society, others values and measures of success are one of the things that takes our power away. 

A lot of what I teach in the podcast, is about taking your power back by living YOUR life, in align with your values, knowing what matters to you in your life and not compare yourself with an ideal that isn't yours.

Taking your power back starts with looking at YOUR ideals and values, not what you have been taught, look underneath, what do YOU really think? What do you really feel? What is important to you? Journal on it. 

When you keep comparing yourself against these ridiculous ideals that aren’t even yours, you compare and feel not enough. You will never be enough if you measure against someone else ideals, simply because you are unique and you cannot be that, you cannot be anything else! 

You shouldn't be treading the same path as someone else, you are unique. It can take a while to own it, and that is what I teach in Yin Yoga, in my healing work and in my coaching work. 

This is my life's work at the moment, to work on truly being me,  to throw off the domestications, the should’s, the expectations. 

How do I truly want to live my life? Who am I really, what do I want to teach?  So I work on being me every day, more me! 

When someone tells me I am too much, or calls me a Force, I smile, because I will to be for everyone! That means I am succeeding at being ME!

If you fall into comparison a lot, the, I should be doing that because so-and-so down the road does this, I should be earning this because they earn that and they're happy…. It goes on and on. 

NO!!! You do what you want, as long as it doesn’t cause harm to anyone else. 

Questions to ask, journal prompts.

1. What do I really think?

2. What do I really want to do? 

3. What do I really believe? 

4.What do I really believe? 

5. What’s important to me? 

A challenge, when you see a rule or a should, I can't, I must…have a reflect. As yourself, do I really think that, is it something I really want to do? Do I really believe that? Is it in line with my values? 

If you don't live in alignment with your values, you don't feel good. You feel off centre, ungrounded, lost. You don’t feeling fulfilled. You don't feel as happy and joyful as you could. And YOU deserve to feel JOY in your life.

As we look at nature, I am pretty sure that the elements never compare themselves, I'm sure the SUN doesn't look at the MOON and wish that could be chilled,  calm, cool and more yin. The SUN is simply there doing it’s thing, showing up in the World exactly in it’s gifts and talents providing the energy that the whole World needs.

The work in my opinion, is to get to know who you truly are and what you really think,  get crystal clear on that and live from that place. 

Live from that centre, from a place of enough-ness. I know who I am. I know what matters to me. I know my values and I'm going to live according to my values, live from there, not from somebody else's ideals, not from someone telling you what you should do, what you should believe.

An example of putting this into practice was when I had the idea about my latest course, something I haven't taught before. 

I found myself,  starting to type in medicine wheel to see what other people were doing,  I  got to MED.… And this voice said, NO,  don't do it. It doesn't matter what other people are doing. What other people are charging, what they're including.

So I took myself away. I meditated, I applied my oils and I created a beautiful  course form my heart. This course is about my wisdom, the teachings that I have learned from my teachers and their teachers and their teachers and their ancestors. Only I have this unique blend of knowledge along with my life wisdom, my life's experiences. So only I can teach this. When we realise our uniqueness and own that, it doesn't matter what other people are doing. Feels like Freedom to me! 

When I realised that I really didn't need to compare it, that I was free to create as me,  I took a deep breath and I just owned it, and it felt goood. 

Some more questions to reflect on…

  1. Do you compare? 
  2. In what ways do you compare yourself?

3. What does comparison stop you doing?

4. What does comparison feel like?

5. What would you do if you didn't compare?

6. How would it feel if you had that freedom of not comparing?

I would love to hear how this lands with you, let me know, Do this work and be free! 

Sending lots of love, K xxx

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